The 3 Rules I Live By That Changed My Life For The Better.

I started my “mindfulness” practice in January of 2017. While I consider myself a newbie to this and know there are a lot of life lessons on their way to me, there are a few things I discovered while on my new spiritual journey that helped me turn my life around completely.

To preface this first rule, I would like to say that I grew up in a house with a single mom who was scared of the world. She spent many hours watching America’s Most Wanted, 20/20, and various true crime specials. While this was entertaining and a good lesson for us to be aware of our surroundings, it embedded such a fear of the world in me from a young age. Breaking free from this fear has opened up a whole realm of possibilities I previously thought were impossible.

I previously said “no” to a lot of things because of fear. Fear of drowning, car troubles on a road trip, kidnapping, choking, breaking a bone, and pretty much any possible worst-case scenario that could happen no matter where I was. As some of you may know when it pertains to the Law of Attraction or Law of Vibration if you expect something to go bad it probably will, and if you live in the vibration of fear…you’re not going to have a good time and will probably attract a scary experience. Anyway, here's rule 1.

Rule Number 1: Every decision you make is a choice between fear and love.

Go with Love! Here is a shortlist of things that would have never happened to me if I chose fear over love.

-I would have never met my boyfriend on Hinge out of fear of being brutally murdered by a stranger online. Everyone meets online these days. Get on the app, FaceTime a few times, meet in a public space, and go with your gut. There are more people on those apps seeking love and partnerships than you may think. Just be SMART about meeting up and have a positive outlook on the possibility of meeting the love of your life or making a great friend.

-I would have never moved out of Florida to Colorado to work in a ski town and meet so many amazing people. Leaving my home state was always my dream and taking the plunge was less scary than I imagined it would be. However, as the time to move crept closer fear crept in. My fear told me so many things like your family is here, you have a decent job, you didn't save enough, it’s cold in Colorado, you already went to college now it's time to get a “real job”, and what if it doesn't work out? I am so happy I went beyond fear and took the leap, my life in Colorado is better than I imagined it could be.

-I would have never taken a cross-country road trip. Fear told me that my car would break down, I would get mugged at a gas station, or get lost. I looked beyond fear and had the time of my life. 10/10 recommend a road trip any day of the week.

-Most importantly, fear when it comes to leaving lovers. People fear walking out on a relationship thinking that is the best it’s going to get for them and they won’t find better. Fear of the unknown. Fear of losing that comfort and familiarity. However, when you make decisions in a relationship based on fear…you aren’t loving your partner or yourself. Choose love (for yourself ) in this case, if you are having doubts that are your sign. If you are unhappy, you are making the most loving decision for your partner and yourself when you leave. The right person will come along for you both and you’ll be happier than you could have ever imagined. Trust me.

There is nothing to fear…trust your gut. It always gives you the right answer.

Rule Number 2: Release attachment to the outcome.
(Releasing Expectations)

This is the hardest rule for me to follow but has been transformative in my own happiness and personal growth. When I release attachment to specific outcomes or expectations, I leave the door open to endless possibilities and remove the possibility of disappointment.

Do I still get disappointed? Of course, but this is a work in progress.

If plans change, I accept them and remain flexible. Things have a tendency to work themselves out anyway and by not throwing a fit over plans changing, the energy of the situation remains positive. Game CHANGER. I used to get so bummed out if plans changed and let it ruin my whole night or an entire trip. Not anymore!

If my partner does something to disappoint me or doesn't do what I expect of them, I look for the things about the situation that I do love and follow the good feelings and look at what is going right. We have an open dialogue about what we both want in our relationship, but if he doesn’t show up with flowers or fails to include a card with a gift I don’t make a big deal of it. I love this person and some things can slide. When you look back you will remember the night, the vibe, and the experience.

I also stopped hyper-planning vacations or having expectations for vacations. There is so much pressure to have fun on vacation and take full advantage of that time off and money spent…this often leads to major disappointments. I release expectations, let the tide take me and the universe guide me and stay open to possibilities. Life is much more fun this way and this is how to turn vacations into real adventures.

Release the fear. Release attachments. Trust! Things will work out best-case scenario if you allow them to.

Rule number 3. Believe with all of your heart that there is way more to who you are.

We are walking miracles surrounded by endless miracles. Do you ever take a step back from your life and realize you’re a human being-born from another human being, living on a planet that is floating in space, loving other humans-coexisting/co-creating every day, surrounded by oceans and mountains and flowers and animals? The Earth spins in perfect proximity to the sun, the sun rises and sets, our hearts beat while we sleep. It’s honestly insane…. let some trivial negative shit go and pay attention to what feels good.

Thinking like this helps me put my problems into perspective. It also grounds me and helps me be grateful for just being alive and having this human experience on Earth. Maybe it’s because I live in Colorado and seeing mountains every day really blows my mind but either way….there is obviously so much more to life than how we perceive it.

Bonus: A daily gratitude and journaling practice really helped me take into account all the things I have to be grateful for, the abundance that surrounds me daily, and helped me break free from sweating the small stuff. Journaling helped me to shift out of victim mentality into a state of constant gratitude and awe for what happens in everyday life. I am way more present and much keener to say yes to things so I can soak in all of the experiences my human body can while it's on this floating rock in space.

-Write down your goals, intentions, fears, feelings, and what you're grateful for, and watch how the universe conspires to give you exactly what you’re looking for. You are so much more powerful than you think you are…don’t let your power go to waste.

These 3 rules completely shifted my life and my experiences and I know they’ll change your life too.